Last night whilst I was running errands, my 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee decided not to start.  I had gotten out to drop a letter in the mailbox and got right back in.  The lights hadn’t even shut themselves off yet.  I hopped in, looking forward to returning home and making some dinner and, nothing.  Well, not nothing, but certainly not enough.  As I turned the key, all the accessories were working and the battery showed it had a charge but there was no familiar sound of the engine cranking.  It was as though the gear shifter had been left in drive. 

My first thought was that the gear shifter was not in Park.  This would mean that the neutral safety switch would not allow the car the start.  It had to be that.  After moving the shifter back and forth about a thousand times and maybe hitting it a little harder than I should have to make sure it was fully in park, there was still no reaction.  After about an hour of this I decided to go home and hopefully whatever was wrong would fix itself overnight. 

It didn’t.  My first thought the next morning was that it could be the anti-theft device.  Upon doing some research on my G-Phone however, I realized that the anti-theft device allows the car to start but then quickly kills the engine.  This was not my problem.  Of course, I turned the alarm on and off a thousand times and even used to key in the door and rear hatch to deactivate the alarm a few times just to make sure.  Even after the fifteenth time, it still didn’t fix the problem.  I tried once more to be sure.

Next, I went back to the neutral safety switch (NSS).  Using my phone once again I found out that the NSS was connected to the reverse lights.  This meant that I could test it by turning the key to the on position, moving the shifter to Reverse and then checking the reverse lights.  If they were on it was working, if not, I had my culprit.  They were on.  Good news but I was back to the drawing board.

I wasn’t prepared to give up on the NSS.  I assumed a fuse had to be associated with it so I pulled out the manual. Took about 20 minutes trying to find the fuse box, which was not where the manual said it was. (Fuck you very much Jeep/Chrysler) and then checked the fuse that the manual listed that was in charge of the NSS.  It was fine.  I then noticed that the diagram on the back of the fuse box cover listed different locations that the manual.  (Fuck you again Jeep/Chrysler).  This prompted me to check every single fuse.  I found one fuse that was blown and was so excited because I thought I had solved the problem I almost jumped up and down.  The good news was that I fixed the power outlet so I can charge my phone.  The bad news, my car would not be running while I charged my phone.

I finally decided that it may not be the NSS.  I really didn’t think it could be the starter because it had not given any trouble thus far and made no sound as if it were even trying to start.  Regardless, I was desperate and would try anything. I had seen an AAA guy bang on my starter once and it miraculously fixed it.  Could lightning strike twice?  I walked to Schucks, bought the repair manual, and looked up online where the starter is.  Evidently it’s on the passenger side next to the “bell housing”.  Very helpful if only I knew what the hell a bell housing was.  Armed with this information and a screwdriver, I crawled under my car and started banging on stuff.  I decided that the starter was the round thing on the passenger side above the exhaust pipe and very near the oil filter.  I banged extra on that part. 

I crawled out from under the car, crossed my fingers, cursed Jeep/Chrysler one more time for good measure, and turned the key.  My heart almost stopped when the engine started.  I couldn’t believe it.  Five hours, one fixed power outlet, two lost fuses (those suckers are hard to get back in due to the ridiculous placement of the fuse box – thanks again Jeep/Chrysler), one missed dentist appointment, and one almost broken gear shifter later, I was back on the open road baby.  Needless to say, I quickly called everyone I knew to brag about what a great mechanic I am and am now trying to come up with catchy names for my auto repair shop.  I kinda like “Mike’s Bangin’ Car Shop – We won’t leave ya hangin”…